Today is my twenty-fourth birthday.
A few weeks ago I came across the blog Seventeenth & Irving, specifically this post entitled "30 Before 30." In it, Lauren lists thirty things she's going to do in the year before her 30th birthday. They are job-related, food-related, fitness-related, and all unique. Some are free, some are expensive, some can be done in an afternoon, and some will take months, but all are attainable.
As someone who has few well-defined goals but adores lists, I decided to put together a list of my own 25 Before 25. Inspiration came from a lot of places, but they're all uniquely mine. Here's to 24!
1 Read 5 books in French
2 Apply for the Master of Music program at U of L
3 Pinterest-Per-Week (in which I will choose a Pin to try every week)
4 Host a dinner party and make everything myself
5 Exercise in some way at least once every week (At the moment I exercise ZERO.)
6 Go on an overnight climbing/hiking/mountain trip
7 Make something I can wear
8 Read the Bible, cover to cover (Eat This Book with E-Free Church)
9 Read 25 books I haven't read before
10 Purge and simplify (inspired by The 100 Thing Challenge and Conquer Your Closet)
11 Have a picnic lunch in the middle of nowhere
12 Get certified in first aid
13 Get recertified in Camp Evergreen's challenge course procedures
14 Leave a note on a stranger's windshield
15 Take piano lessons
16 Write a story, and let friends read it
17 Write a song, and let friends hear it
18 Learn some Spanish in order to write a basic letter to our family's sponsored child in Colombia
19 Have a Vegetarian Week every month
20 Take an art class
21 Make a photo album of my undergraduate years at U of L
22 Volunteer at least twice a month
23 Cross the US border in a car (I have done this only by bus so far.)
24 Take a dance lesson
25 Wild Card! Something spontaneous and adventurous that defies such a list as this.
January 27, 2013: It's okay to fall behind and then catch up!
Showing posts with label the future. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the future. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Friday, November 2, 2012
Something about fall
My last "here's what I've been up to because I've been pretty awful about updating anyone about my life" post ended on a blindly optimistic note. I had no idea what was coming next, but I was looking forward to it.
Now that the two months that were in the future at that time are now in the past, it strikes me how ridiculous it is that anyone would ever panic about the future. The days roll on at a rate of exactly sixty minutes per hour, and we do things, simply because we can't do nothing. I mean, you can do nothing, you can sit and do nothing, but even that is doing something. Time stops for no one.
At some point after I had written that post, I decided to go back to camp. To be honest, I had decided to spend the fall season at camp as soon as it was suggested to me. But for me, there's the point at which I've inwardly agreed to do something, and then there's the point at which I broadcast it. So when I wrote that post I just hadn't reached the broadcasting part yet.
Spending September and October at camp was great! I was a member of a staff of thirteen very different individuals. When it comes to staff teams, I've seen quite a few. I don't know that I've ever worked with so many completely different people at once, but somehow we made it work. By the end of it, though, I had spent one too many days in the dish pit and about fifteen too many days at the zipline, and I was worn out.
About halfway through October, I had the chance to briefly visit Lethbridge, the city I recently left as our family moved to Kelowna. I loved visiting friends there, seeing the university, and, above all, attending my church there.
That was the point at which I'd inwardly agreed to move back to Lethbridge.
I didn't broadcast it until I signed a rental contract for a little room in the upstairs part of a house shared with two other girls I very vaguely know. It all fell together easily. I felt sure-footed as God guided my steps, dropping things into my lap. A camp friend said, no, things are not falling into your lap, Jesus is whipping them at you!
I am slowly adjusting to being "moved out" for the first time. I'm navigating the bus system, comparing prices, and even cooking. Yes, it was soup from a can, but the point is that I made it.
Next, I will be looking for a job. I'm not sure yet what it will be, but whether it comes as a fastball-to-the-face or a feather-to-the-sleeve, I'll take it.
Now that the two months that were in the future at that time are now in the past, it strikes me how ridiculous it is that anyone would ever panic about the future. The days roll on at a rate of exactly sixty minutes per hour, and we do things, simply because we can't do nothing. I mean, you can do nothing, you can sit and do nothing, but even that is doing something. Time stops for no one.
Spending September and October at camp was great! I was a member of a staff of thirteen very different individuals. When it comes to staff teams, I've seen quite a few. I don't know that I've ever worked with so many completely different people at once, but somehow we made it work. By the end of it, though, I had spent one too many days in the dish pit and about fifteen too many days at the zipline, and I was worn out.About halfway through October, I had the chance to briefly visit Lethbridge, the city I recently left as our family moved to Kelowna. I loved visiting friends there, seeing the university, and, above all, attending my church there.
That was the point at which I'd inwardly agreed to move back to Lethbridge.
I didn't broadcast it until I signed a rental contract for a little room in the upstairs part of a house shared with two other girls I very vaguely know. It all fell together easily. I felt sure-footed as God guided my steps, dropping things into my lap. A camp friend said, no, things are not falling into your lap, Jesus is whipping them at you!
My new house is disguised as a forest.
I am slowly adjusting to being "moved out" for the first time. I'm navigating the bus system, comparing prices, and even cooking. Yes, it was soup from a can, but the point is that I made it.
Next, I will be looking for a job. I'm not sure yet what it will be, but whether it comes as a fastball-to-the-face or a feather-to-the-sleeve, I'll take it.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Next up
Today is the last day of my fall season here at camp. I have spent close to two months here, and it's been mostly good. Each time I come back and spend a lot of time here, though, I remember that it's difficult for me to spend a lot of time here. It's hard to stay motivated and engaging so that our guests have the most enjoyable experience possible. I'm not very good at pasting on a smile despite being exhausted and annoyed. So the end is coming at a good time. I love camp, its ministry, and what we do here, but I'm glad to be able to take some time off. Then I'll be able to come back for weekends completely psyched to be here, and I love that feeling!
Next thing starts tomorrow: Moving back to Lethbridge. It's the first time I'll be moving out for real. I'll be paying rent and buying groceries like a regular person. What my life will look like for the next six months or so is pretty much completely unknown. I'm nervous, but also excited. I have missed Lethbridge more than I cared to acknowledge since we moved away four months ago.
So here's to starting something new without a clue about what it is!
Next thing starts tomorrow: Moving back to Lethbridge. It's the first time I'll be moving out for real. I'll be paying rent and buying groceries like a regular person. What my life will look like for the next six months or so is pretty much completely unknown. I'm nervous, but also excited. I have missed Lethbridge more than I cared to acknowledge since we moved away four months ago.
So here's to starting something new without a clue about what it is!
Friday, August 17, 2012
Dreams
People ask me fairly often, "What are you doing to do next?"
I usually reply with, "Well, I'm really not sure, I'm waiting for something to come up."
And they might say, "What's your dream? What's the one thing you're dying to do?"
And I'll say, "I don't really have a dream - or at least, I haven't identified one yet."
And they'll be like, "Well... That's weird."
I've been doing a lot of journaling lately, stream-of-consciousness journaling. I write in that style because if I think about what I'm writing before I write it, I'll censor myself and leave out the bits that I think are unacceptable because they're too ridiculous or impossible or impractical.
In my stream-of-consciousness journaling the other day, I spontaneously started making a list of things I would like to do with my life. It surprised me to see the list growing, on and on, lines filled with everything from "learn a new language" and "study medicine" to "go skydiving" and "become a foodie."
So I have come to discover that my problem is not the lack of a dream, but an overabundance of dreams, and no idea of where to start. I don't know which dream to choose first, so I haven't chosen any of them.
So... There's that.
I usually reply with, "Well, I'm really not sure, I'm waiting for something to come up."
And they might say, "What's your dream? What's the one thing you're dying to do?"
And I'll say, "I don't really have a dream - or at least, I haven't identified one yet."
And they'll be like, "Well... That's weird."
I've been doing a lot of journaling lately, stream-of-consciousness journaling. I write in that style because if I think about what I'm writing before I write it, I'll censor myself and leave out the bits that I think are unacceptable because they're too ridiculous or impossible or impractical.
In my stream-of-consciousness journaling the other day, I spontaneously started making a list of things I would like to do with my life. It surprised me to see the list growing, on and on, lines filled with everything from "learn a new language" and "study medicine" to "go skydiving" and "become a foodie."
So I have come to discover that my problem is not the lack of a dream, but an overabundance of dreams, and no idea of where to start. I don't know which dream to choose first, so I haven't chosen any of them.
So... There's that.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Answers
What's next for Sarah?
For almost a year, I have had no answer for this question. The question never changes. The answer never changes. I don't know. It's probably the most often used phrase in my vocabulary.
Where do you see yourself in ten years? Five years? What is your passion? What do you enjoy doing? I have no answers.
I'm sure I don't have to tell you how mind-numbingly frustrating it is to have no answers. I can't come up with answers. I haven't been given answers.
You might think, How exciting! The world is your oyster. The future is wide-open! It's an adventure waiting to unfold. No. No, it isn't. It's actually terrifying. Try staring at a university degree with no aspirations and see how excited you feel. Dread is what you feel.
I don't know.
For almost a year, I have had no answer for this question. The question never changes. The answer never changes. I don't know. It's probably the most often used phrase in my vocabulary.
Where do you see yourself in ten years? Five years? What is your passion? What do you enjoy doing? I have no answers.
I'm sure I don't have to tell you how mind-numbingly frustrating it is to have no answers. I can't come up with answers. I haven't been given answers.
You might think, How exciting! The world is your oyster. The future is wide-open! It's an adventure waiting to unfold. No. No, it isn't. It's actually terrifying. Try staring at a university degree with no aspirations and see how excited you feel. Dread is what you feel.
I don't know.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Just like a child
I still catch myself using the phrase "when I grow up."
I always thought I'd be grown up once I reached age 18. That's when you become an adult, after all.
But here I am, 22, feeling just as far from being a grown-up as I ever was. I feel weird calling myself a woman and still think of myself as a girl. I don't always know exactly what to say, and I feel tongue-tied most of the time. I have a terrible time making all kinds of decisions, from career paths to summer jobs to breakfast cereals. I can't cook. I hate sharing. I judge people and gossip and I have a short temper.
It's the worst when I act like a child without choosing to. It tells me that I'm not even a child pretending to be an adult - just a kid who didn't know any better.
Of course it's a process, not a sudden change. I'm just impatient - like a child.
I always thought I'd be grown up once I reached age 18. That's when you become an adult, after all.
But here I am, 22, feeling just as far from being a grown-up as I ever was. I feel weird calling myself a woman and still think of myself as a girl. I don't always know exactly what to say, and I feel tongue-tied most of the time. I have a terrible time making all kinds of decisions, from career paths to summer jobs to breakfast cereals. I can't cook. I hate sharing. I judge people and gossip and I have a short temper.
It's the worst when I act like a child without choosing to. It tells me that I'm not even a child pretending to be an adult - just a kid who didn't know any better.
Of course it's a process, not a sudden change. I'm just impatient - like a child.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
He Leadeth Me
The story is told of a man on an African safari deep in the jungle. The guide before him had a machete and was whacking away the tall weeds and thick underbrush. The traveler, wearied and hot, asked in frustration, "Where are we? Do you know where you are taking me? Where is the path?!" The seasoned guide stopped and looked back at the man and replied, "I am the path."
We ask the same questions, don't we? We ask God, "Where are you taking me? Where is the path?" And he, like the guide, doesn't tell us. Oh, he may give us a hint or two, but that's all. If he did, would we understand? Would we comprehend our location? No, like the traveler, we are unacquainted with this jungle. So rather than give us an answer, Jesus gives us a far greater gift. He gives us himself.
Does he remove the jungle? No, the vegetation is still thick.
Does he purge the predators? No, danger still lurks.
Jesus doesn't give hope by changing the jungle; he restores our hope by giving us himself. And he has promised to stay until the very end.
(From Max Lucado, Traveling Light)
The issue I'm struggling with most, at the moment, is with finding out God's plan for my life. I have so many questions, and so many options, and all I really want to do is find out what he wants for me and then do it.
I thought about Jonah today. God specifically told Jonah to go to Ninevah. Jonah deliberately disobeyed God, but he ended up in Ninevah anyway. God's will couldn't be altered, even when Jonah ran the opposite way and hid.
That's a comforting thought. There's nothing I can do to mess up God's plan for me. I am committed to going where he leads and I am confident that he'll steer me as I go. There's no need to worry about the future.
"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." (Psalm 119:105) It isn't a map, high-tech GPS, or even a series of equally spaced streetlights. He'll show me where to go, one step at a time, and I trust him.
He leadeth me, O blessed thought!
O words with heav’nly comfort fraught!
Whate’er I do, where’er I be
Still ’tis God’s hand that leadeth me.
(He Leadeth Me, Joseph Gilmore, 1862)
We ask the same questions, don't we? We ask God, "Where are you taking me? Where is the path?" And he, like the guide, doesn't tell us. Oh, he may give us a hint or two, but that's all. If he did, would we understand? Would we comprehend our location? No, like the traveler, we are unacquainted with this jungle. So rather than give us an answer, Jesus gives us a far greater gift. He gives us himself.
Does he remove the jungle? No, the vegetation is still thick.
Does he purge the predators? No, danger still lurks.
Jesus doesn't give hope by changing the jungle; he restores our hope by giving us himself. And he has promised to stay until the very end.
(From Max Lucado, Traveling Light)
The issue I'm struggling with most, at the moment, is with finding out God's plan for my life. I have so many questions, and so many options, and all I really want to do is find out what he wants for me and then do it.
I thought about Jonah today. God specifically told Jonah to go to Ninevah. Jonah deliberately disobeyed God, but he ended up in Ninevah anyway. God's will couldn't be altered, even when Jonah ran the opposite way and hid.
That's a comforting thought. There's nothing I can do to mess up God's plan for me. I am committed to going where he leads and I am confident that he'll steer me as I go. There's no need to worry about the future.
"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." (Psalm 119:105) It isn't a map, high-tech GPS, or even a series of equally spaced streetlights. He'll show me where to go, one step at a time, and I trust him.
He leadeth me, O blessed thought!
O words with heav’nly comfort fraught!
Whate’er I do, where’er I be
Still ’tis God’s hand that leadeth me.
(He Leadeth Me, Joseph Gilmore, 1862)
Thursday, January 6, 2011
What kind of spirit?
Here's the conversation I've been having with God over the last few months...
Sarah: God, I've been thinking a lot about what I should do once I finish my music degree this spring. I can't really seem to come to any sort of conclusion... I don't even really know what my career dreams are. All I really want is to follow your will, which I know is good and perfect and just right for me. Please guide me to follow your will.
God: ... ... ... ...
(Later)
S: God, I know your will is perfect, and even though I can't tell where I'm going, I'll follow you if you'll lead me. I don't need to make a decision for a while anyway.
G: ... ... ... ...
(Later)
S: God, it's really difficult right now to lack answers. I don't care that I can't give anyone an answer to the question, "What will you do next year?" but I do care that I can't answer that question for myself. I'm feeling very anxious and I really pray that you'd open my eyes to your will so I could have some direction.
G: ... ... ... ...
(Later)
S: God, I'm trying very hard to trust in your will right now, but I'm having a really hard time doing that when I can't see where the path leads at all. I feel unfocused and lacking in direction and it's frustrating. How can I know whether I'm following your will? How can I know which opportunities to take and which to pass up? How can I know what to research? I know you're not asking me to sit around waiting for you to place something in my lap... Even if you did that, how would I know it was you who had done it? Father, I've asked for guidance and for you to take my hand and lead me, but I still feel as lost as ever. I know you haven't left me. What should I do?
G: ... ... ... ...
Through all this, God's been patiently trying to develop in me a new kind of spirit: a teachable spirit. A spirit of patience, of peace, of faithfulness. My desperate cries for direction have gone unanswered (for now). I suppose I'm meant to discover the art of waiting in faithfulness and trust. Perhaps only when I can trust God fully and realize that he knows his plans for me will he open my eyes and reveal his will. I know it'll be worth the wait.
Sarah: God, I've been thinking a lot about what I should do once I finish my music degree this spring. I can't really seem to come to any sort of conclusion... I don't even really know what my career dreams are. All I really want is to follow your will, which I know is good and perfect and just right for me. Please guide me to follow your will.
God: ... ... ... ...
(Later)
S: God, I know your will is perfect, and even though I can't tell where I'm going, I'll follow you if you'll lead me. I don't need to make a decision for a while anyway.
G: ... ... ... ...
(Later)
S: God, it's really difficult right now to lack answers. I don't care that I can't give anyone an answer to the question, "What will you do next year?" but I do care that I can't answer that question for myself. I'm feeling very anxious and I really pray that you'd open my eyes to your will so I could have some direction.
G: ... ... ... ...
(Later)
S: God, I'm trying very hard to trust in your will right now, but I'm having a really hard time doing that when I can't see where the path leads at all. I feel unfocused and lacking in direction and it's frustrating. How can I know whether I'm following your will? How can I know which opportunities to take and which to pass up? How can I know what to research? I know you're not asking me to sit around waiting for you to place something in my lap... Even if you did that, how would I know it was you who had done it? Father, I've asked for guidance and for you to take my hand and lead me, but I still feel as lost as ever. I know you haven't left me. What should I do?
G: ... ... ... ...
Through all this, God's been patiently trying to develop in me a new kind of spirit: a teachable spirit. A spirit of patience, of peace, of faithfulness. My desperate cries for direction have gone unanswered (for now). I suppose I'm meant to discover the art of waiting in faithfulness and trust. Perhaps only when I can trust God fully and realize that he knows his plans for me will he open my eyes and reveal his will. I know it'll be worth the wait.
To close, a song that matches better my sentiments than my tone:
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