Further Up and Further In!

Then they all went forward together, always Westward, for that seemed to be the direction Aslan had meant when he cried out, "Further up and further in." ...

It was the Unicorn who summed up what everyone was feeling. He stamped his right forehoof on the ground and neighed, and then cried:

"I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now. The reason why we loved the old Narnia is that it sometimes looked a little like this. Bree-hee-hee! Come further up, come further in!"

(From C. S. Lewis, The Last Battle)

Timidly and hesitantly I have begun this new experience of posting my thoughts and ideas in this very public forum. It's a way to sort out the jumble of things commanding my attention all at once. Here I will write and ramble my way further up and further in, toward a greater and deeper knowledge of myself and my world and God, answering and asking questions all along.

"Come further up, come further in!"

Storytelling

"Live a better story."

This isn't a new idea; I've frequently been encouraged to live more spontaneously, to spice up my life, and to try something new every day. Most often this is advised with the giver's intent of creating more excitement for the hearer. Adventures are great memories to accompany old age and create fascinating stories for future generations. Basically, there is personal gain to be had by living a better story in this sense.

Recently, however, the intent has changed. I've been urged to live a better story for God. God has given me the gift of life, and he "has come so that [we] may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10) Life should be treated as a gift and so it should be cherished, not wasted as many are apt to do. I live to show the glory of God; I exist to serve God and to serve his people and be and to show how amazing he is. To serve God is to live adventurously, accepting the risk of persecution and facing the evil in the world. Living in accordance with God's will for me is my greatest hope and will be the most fulfilling life I could have. To live a better story for God is a noble ambition.

What I have struggled with in the Live a Better Story philosophy is the implication of evil, or sin, in living a non-adventurous life. I have not read the Donald Miller books that describe this idea, and so my knowledge is admittedly incomplete. It has been my (perhaps completely backwards) impression, though, that failing to take advantage of life's opportunities is displeasing to God, since he created them to be enjoyed by his people.

I'm not sure if I believe that God's called everyone to live adventurous lives. Certainly there are those who have been called to such lives, but surely it is possible to please God greatly with a quiet, enduring faith while serving him close to home.

Perhaps the issue I have is with the definition of "adventurous." It is a risk in itself to become a follower of God, and God's will for each of his followers includes many adventures of different kinds. God will use soup kitchen volunteers as much as he'll use missionaries to developing countries.

God has a great plan for each of us. It is my prayer that we would submit to his will and go where he leads. This will be the greatest adventure of all.

What kind of spirit?

Here's the conversation I've been having with God over the last few months...

Sarah: God, I've been thinking a lot about what I should do once I finish my music degree this spring. I can't really seem to come to any sort of conclusion... I don't even really know what my career dreams are. All I really want is to follow your will, which I know is good and perfect and just right for me. Please guide me to follow your will.
God: ... ... ... ...

(Later)
S: God, I know your will is perfect, and even though I can't tell where I'm going, I'll follow you if you'll lead me. I don't need to make a decision for a while anyway.
G: ... ... ... ...

(Later)
S: God, it's really difficult right now to lack answers. I don't care that I can't give anyone an answer to the question, "What will you do next year?" but I do care that I can't answer that question for myself. I'm feeling very anxious and I really pray that you'd open my eyes to your will so I could have some direction.
G: ... ... ... ...

(Later)
S: God, I'm trying very hard to trust in your will right now, but I'm having a really hard time doing that when I can't see where the path leads at all. I feel unfocused and lacking in direction and it's frustrating. How can I know whether I'm following your will? How can I know which opportunities to take and which to pass up? How can I know what to research? I know you're not asking me to sit around waiting for you to place something in my lap... Even if you did that, how would I know it was you who had done it? Father, I've asked for guidance and for you to take my hand and lead me, but I still feel as lost as ever. I know you haven't left me. What should I do?
G: ... ... ... ...

Through all this, God's been patiently trying to develop in me a new kind of spirit: a teachable spirit. A spirit of patience, of peace, of faithfulness. My desperate cries for direction have gone unanswered (for now). I suppose I'm meant to discover the art of waiting in faithfulness and trust. Perhaps only when I can trust God fully and realize that he knows his plans for me will he open my eyes and reveal his will. I know it'll be worth the wait.

To close, a song that matches better my sentiments than my tone: